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writer of freedom of speechPonder & Scribble... i say wat i feel, i do wat i love. Feel & Moods.. i laugh when i m happy i cry when i m sad i eat when i m hungry i sleep when i m tired a little bit of narcissism won't hurt, and vanity isn't a sin. ~Perfect with Imperfections~ [ :. Cherish .: ]
Family is my precious, Friends are my treasures Without them, i am nothing.. [ : Sweet or Salted : ]
Everyone's FineShe's Out of My League The Crazies REC 2 Harry Potter 7 Easy A Skyline The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader Meet The Parents: Little Fockers [ .: Happy moments :. ]
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Sunday, September 13, 2009
to - dos
5:13 PM 10 steps to enjoying each other better... 1. Be realistic about each other. Don't try to turn ur partner into something he or she is not. Let's face it, guys-there's only 1 Pamela Anderson in the world, and even she has had her implants removed! Give ur gal a break and understand that her physical appearance is NOT going to change overnite with the help of a few facials ! or treat ments. And ladies, Brad Pitt has already been taken, so u're gonna have to do with what ur guy is like! Chill out, love each other for what u are. There is more to ur partner than what meets the eye. 2. Always talk things out. Now guys, I know this is not ur fave pastime or mode of resolving issues, but u know what? This works with the gals. Don't make assumptions about each other's feelings. Learn to xpress urself better so that ur partner understands what u're angry about, or hurt about, or even happy about! When u stop talking to each other from the heart, it's the beginning of the end. 3. Do stuff together. Make an effort to do things together. Do some sports or involve urselves in some shared activities; something both of u enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or jus strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccor with him once in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if ur gal asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for "that sort of activities" instead. If u're spending more time with ur friends rather than with ur partner, it's a warning sign that u're drifting apart!!! 4. Meet each other halfway. If he agrees to throw out that rotten T-shirt with the "The_Rock" print, u shouldn't kick up much of a fuss if he asks u to keep ur room tidy. There's gotta be a little giving and taking in a relationship, so learn to meet each other halfway. 5.Show ur love Buy her flowers or candy or perfume everynow and then, even if u have been together for 5years. It's wonderful to continue showing someone that u care for him or her. Cook him a special meal, paint him a Valentine's Day card. Knit him mini-socks he can't wear ( like for decoration purposes => ), buy him a packet of milk for breakfast, or pack his wardrobe for him...so he knows u can still be romantic and loving despite having been together for quite a while. 6. Respect each other. Stop making jokes about her hair or skin, or whatever it is u love to laugh at. Ask urself if she thinks if its funny. And if he has an inferiority complex about his height, stop ogling at tall guys and make him feel worse! Love is about respecting each other's feelings and being sensitive to each other at all times. 7. Bury the past. Stop bringing up the past. Gals..don't bring up the happy things about u and ur ex to ur guy, it would jus make him jealous or unhappy. And guys, don't talk about the happy times that u had with ur ex or mention about her in ur every other sentence as it would make ur gal feel un-happy and she might think that u saying all this b'cos u are gonna get back with ur ex or not interested in her anymore. 8. Sit on ur jealousy. All of us go thru' spells of insecurity at the beginning of the relationship, but don't translate that insecurity into jealousy. If u're gonna go through ur partner's mail and cupboard, and eavesdropping on conversations, u know something is wrong - with u!!! Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru' the relationship before finally killing it. Trust ur partner; love has to have trust in it. 9. Keep ur commitments to each other. If ur partner is standing u up all the time and cancelling dates and breaking promises, u need to talk! If u're in a relationship, make ur partner ur priority and don't disappoint them if u can help it. It's really terrible when someone promises to take u to dinner, and then calls to cancel it. Don't make promises u can't keep. If ur partner starts to feel that he/she is not important enough to u, u may jus lose him/her. 10. Be honest. Honesty is not scowling at how awful she looks first thing in the morning, or telling him that he has the biceps of a fly~! When we say "be honest", we mean expressing ur feelings clearly, not being bitingly cruel. When u're hurt, say so, and when u're angry, tell him/her, w/o getting hysterical. If u can't be honest with ur partner, who can u be honest with? ? Love is also about honesty, and a relationship where no honesty exists probably isn't worth it! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1. Set aside a regular time to talk about what is going on in your life at the moment. Two to three times a week is good, but daily is even better. Start your conversation on a positive note by mentioning something that is going well in your relationship. For example, perhaps you were able to make a difficult decision without arguing. Then let your partner do the same. This helps remind the two of you why you are together. After that, you can let your partner know what it is that you would like to work on, and ask for your partner's cooperation. At first, this may take a good 30 minutes or so, but after awhile your discussions should take less time as you handle the things that need attention on a regular basis. 2. Avoid aggression when you communicate. Aggression means putting your partner down, raising your voice, using sarcasm, or making unkind remarks. It also means that you think you are superior to your partner--what kind of cooperation are you expecting to get from acting like that? 3. Avoid being passive. That means when your partner wants to discuss something, you don't cross your arms and pout, turn your head or look away, or leave the room. Send an SOS to your inner adult and ask your adult to be present for discussion. Use deep breathing to calm down if any sort of conflict tends to make you nervous. (Say, using deep breathing is good advice for calming down if you are becoming overly aggressive, too!) 4. Pretend you are in customer service when your partner has a complaint. Maybe your partner has a legitimate reason to come to you and ask for change. Listen as though you are being called upon to help your partner, not as though you are being criticized or attacked. Then start working on ways to make your "customer" happier by problem solving some ways that you can both get what you want or need. 5. Make it be okay to talk about things at a later time or date. Just because you cannot handle the anxiety of holding onto a problem doesn't mean that you should force your partner to talk about something right away. Ask your partner if he or she is willing to talk about a particular topic at the moment, or if there is a better time. Chances are you will have a more productive conversation. 6. Don't talk a topic into the ground. Sometimes you will need more information before you can resolve a conflict. Sometimes you need to take a break so that the brain can process what is going on. Creative problem solving usually takes place when the mind has a chance to rest. Make it okay to disagree about something, but agree to think about it and discuss it again at some other time. The basic secret of good communication is to speak to one another as adults. You wouldn't call a friend or co-worker terrible names if they had a difference of opinion, must less a stranger. You are two different people and neither of you is an authority on reality. Don't be afraid of conflict; conflict signals an opportunity for growth. With practice, good communication can lead to true peace, not just avoidance of much-needed discussion. Good communication is at the core of creating a feeling of intimacy and trust. *sometimes we jus got so caught up with our life that we forgot to appreciate and cherish our loved ones...start now, before it gets too late.* 0♥ in the cookie jar |
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